Elle Luna: Should vs Must

If you’ve ever asked yourself – as almost all of us have – “how can I find and follow my calling and my passion,” then you’re going to get a lot out of this conversation. Elle has a book describing her own search for an answer to this question which is called “The Crossroads of Should And Must” which explores the tension between the expectations that parents, friends, and culture put on us (what she calls “should”) and who we are and what we know to be true (what she calls “must”). These two forces don’t have to be at odds, but for many of us (and likely many of you) they are.

Today on the podcast,

She breaks work down into 3 categories: jobs, careers and callings. So many of us are stuck in one of the first 2, looking for a way to get to the 3rd.
Accountability comes up again – a common theme in a lot of these conversations as a really key part of the creative process, to help get us across the finish line and actually COMPLETE our ideas. For Elle, the key is attaching a human to it – she says “if someone I love is counting on me to deliver something, I won’t let them down.”
Another familiar theme that comes up again is structure- some creatives resist structure, but I am a firm and passionate believer that structure doesn’t hinder creativity, it helps it. Elle talks about how she uses structure– one of her little hacks is setting a kitchen timer in 17 minute increments, and during that 17 minutes she can’t deviate from the task at hand.

Enjoy!

I was so busy and out of touch that I had kept myself from dreaming

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Some Questions I Ask:

How did you end up living in the woods after your book tour? [1:30]
Was it the creative side or the human side of you that made you feel that you had to prioritize simplicity and getting back to nature? [4:50]
What was your day to day while you were on your sabbatical? [5:18]
What was the contrast between your how you dreamt and slept between your book launch release and your vanlife? [10:20]
Do you think it’s possible that the seemingly unmediated fragments of your dreams are actually causal of your mind+body connection? [14:02]
Was the book, The Crossroads of Should and Must, inside of you before you let it out or did it come about as you wrote it? [15:45]
How did you set out to find the studio space that you had dreams of? [17:58]
What are the “should” and “must” elements of trusting and following our intuition? [22:28]
Are you always able to choose must, or do you sometimes feel trapped to choose should? [25:20]
How important were the specific words of “should” and “must” when putting together the book? [29:06]
How can we, whether we are going from 0-1 in our creative pursuits or from 1-10, bring awareness to our own “shoulds”? [33:38]
Where were you at in life when you took the leap on your apartment? Were you prepared for a big change? [37:35]
Do you have any go to secrets or tools to jump start your own creativity on demand? [39:56]
What’s your experience with the structure that you use to drive your creativity and productivity? [48:14]
Can you talk to me about your own intuition and what has happened when you’ve listened to your intuition and when you haven’t? [52:36]
What do you do to ensure you’re living authentically and true to your intuition? [55:30]
What are some books or movies that you love? [58:30]
Can you recommend any books for someone who might be stuck? [1:02:13]
Do you have any other recommendations of any sort? Food, books? [1:03:41]
What is something that people don’t know about you that they’d be surprised to learn? [1:05:16]
What’s the next big thing for you? [1:09:27]

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

How Elle remembered how to fully experience a day by disconnecting for two months. [4:10]
How today’s culture is addicted to being busy, which I think indicates a lack of priorities in your life. [4:32]
Elle’s daily routine. [6:20]
Julia Cameron once said “The more we treat ourselves like a precious object, the stronger we become.” [7:24]
My former, aka naive, thoughts on sleep and how Arianna Huffington helped me clarify how we take better care of our phones than ourselves. [7:57]
How remembering my dreams is a good indication of how well I’m treating my body. [9:30]
How Elle is a next level dreamer and how she relates her dreams to what’s happening in her life. [10:55]
The system Elle uses to remember her dreams. [12:27]
The story of Elle’s apartment that inspired her to start painting again. [19:41]
The options presented every time you make a decision and how to choose what’s right for you. [23:32]
What happens if you don’t deal with the “shoulds”. [26:10]
The Alexander Technique applied to your own decisions says “when we stop doing the wrong things, the right thing does itself.” [26:33]
How we’ve all inherited “shoulds” and why it’s important to choose for yourself which shoulds you want to take part in. [29:56]
The guiding questions to ask yourself at your own crossroads may be the same for everyone. Start with “are you happy?”. [34:07]
Why the best time to make changes in your life is when everything seems to be falling apart. “Discontent is an amazing catalyst for something new.” [35:25]
Why you ought to literally, and perhaps metaphorically, paint with the colors that you don’t like. [36:09]
“When you think you’re falling, dive.” What to do when you feel shame, anger and fear to find freedom. [36:52]
The different modes of work (jobs, careers, callings) and how you can design them to suit you. [39:58]
The key to Elle’s creative output; accountability and the tools she uses to stay accountable. [41:54]
Why you should get to know your boredom. [45:49]
How I fell into a life of creative systems after rejecting it for so long. [46:52]
“When we have more fun, we get more done.” – Elle’s friend Susie. [49:36]
The advice that the book “The Kin of Ata Are Waiting for You” offers on how much you should be working; work enough that you have good dreams but not so much that you don’t dream at all. [50:10]
How I use a very simple list to ensure I’m living in authenticity. [53:32]
How naming the different voices, personalities, and personas within yourself helps you make sure you’re making decisions from the right places. [56:40]
How to use enneagrams to find your authentic self. [1:00:30]
If you deal with feeling the pressure of perfectionism with your art, try telling yourself before you start that nobody is going to see it. Have fun with it. [1:03:23]
How to experience nature to experience life. [1:04:19]
Elle’s and my very own first crossroads of should and must. [1:05:35]
How to get unstuck and make hard choices: flip a coin and however you feel based on the result is what you should actually pursue. [1:08:19]
“Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid and doors will open where you didn’t even know where they were going to be.” – Joseph Campbell [1:10:10]

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