Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life /w Glennon Doyle

Glennon Doyle is the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling memoir Love Warrior, and Carry On, Warrior. Glennon is also the founder of Momastery an online community reaching millions each week, and Together Rising—a non-profit organization that has raised seven million dollars for families around the world through its Love Flash Mobs, which have revolutionized online giving.

Prepare your ears for a healthy dose of honesty, as that’s what Glennon does best. She says things that others aren’t comfortable saying and does what she believes is true and beautiful, even under threat of career suicide. We talk about how perseverance, integrity and trust in her community made her a ten year overnight success and I know there’s some nuggets in here that’ll help you as you mine for the gold of life.

In today’s episode:

Glennon started writing every day. First to her friends, then on her blog. She talks about getting up at 4 am to write in her closet and hitting publish every day by 6. So many takeaways and about sharing before you have time to judge your work (and thusly not release it) and making creativity a habit.
Glennon has this saying I love, “And both”. This idea that life is not black and white. She says … Life is brutal. But it’s also beautiful. It’s Brutiful. Life’s brutal and beautiful are woven together so tightly that they can’t be separated. If you reject the brutal, you’re rejecting the beauty, too.
We talk about technology and social media and our constant need to check our phones. She tells the story of her son (also named Chase) and how he’s always on his phone, which she fears will prevent him from finding his interests. It’s a conversation I think so many of us are having, and refreshing to hear her take on it.

Enjoy!

I value creativity more than anything. Because for me, creativity has to do with living who you are, taking who you are on the inside and giving it to the world in one form or another.

FOLLOW GLENNON:
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Some Questions I Ask:

Take us through the backstory of your career trajectory. [2:05]
What did it feel like discovering yourself in a closet at 4:30 in the morning? [5:34]
Did you discover that the morning was your creative time because that was the only time you could make for yourself? [6:58]
Unfold the story of where you went after you started writing in your closet. [8:27]
Why wouldn’t you publish something every day now? [10:21]
Is it fair to say that the phase that you were in was critical to your development? [12:03]
Do you feel like more people should just focus on the craft and let the rest take care of itself? [14:25]
Talk to me about “and both”. [17:42]
Where does life go after you had the realization on the bathroom floor? [21:23]
Tell a story about one of the first times you were on a morning talk show and started dropping truth bombs. [29:58]
How did you develop the trust that you have with your community? [35:35]
What did you change about your show after hearing negative feedback from your community? [39:30]
If 25 percent of the feedback is looks, 25 percent is relationship, what’s the other 50 percent? [48:48]
Let’s talk about your non profit organization, Together Rising, which has raised over $7 million to date. [50:40]
Talk to me about your mindset. How do you get back to your center? [1:02:20]
Was there anything else you wanted to say about social media? [1:14:24]
How can people participate with Together Rising? [1:15:34]
Do you have any words on leadership? [1:17:55]
Any thoughts on bravery? [1:24:10]

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

Branding 101: pick a word that people can say. [2:15]
How experiencing real honesty in addiction recovery meetings led Glennon to wake up at 4:30am and climb into her closet to start writing. [2:50]
How Glennon uses her mornings to get all of the most important and hardest work done. [6:30]
Glennon started sharing her thoughts and feelings with her friends who couldn’t keep up with her, which birthed her blog, Momastery. [8:45]
Why you should be publishing every day. [9:20]
All it took for Glennon to achieve her overnight success was 10 and a half years of writing and publishing every day with no acclaim… until she wrote “Don’t Carpe Diem”, which put her on the map. [12:50]
There are more ways than one to structure leadership within an organization. [16:45]
Glennon and Brené Brown are both shame researches, it’s just that all of Glennon’s research is “out in the field.” [20:10]
You can’t have the beautiful without the brutal. [20:19]
What happens when we try to turn our gaping wounds into art before our pain has scarred. [24:00]
Listen in for a living definition of integrity. Just before Glennon’s big-blockbuster-breakout book, Love Warrior, about marriage redemption was about to drop… she decided to get a divorce. Plot twist! [25:20]
People are always trying to teach what they don’t know. For Glennon, she didn’t understand relationships and love… until she met Abby. [30:35]
What you’ll get from your community if you treat them with honesty, respect and love and why it’s important to create communities that are radically inclusive.. You don’t know what you’re going to need down the road. [33:30]
If you want people who are going to care about you in a community, you have to desperately care about them. [36:27]
Why Glennon’s mantra is “stay open”, especially when it hurts. [38:00]
The difference between telling the truth, not telling the truth, and not telling *enough* of the truth. [43:30]
The two biggest ways that Glennon sees women being silenced; comments on appearance and microaggressional relationship comments. Why you have to be smart enough to disregard the garbage criticisms , but brave enough to really take in the real criticisms of your work. [46:00]
Gratitude is an energy that you have to do something with. You don’t just feel it. [51:50]
How Together Rising was born from a person in need, the inability to hide an $87,000 charge on Glennon’s credit card, and the magic of introducing people to each other. [52:00]
The beauty and fun of flash mobs. If you can’t be the first person to dance, be the second. [55:15]
To some, charity is not about being a good person… it’s just so fun! [58:20]
Character is what you do when no one is watching. [59:37]
The simple practices Glennon focuses on to stay sane-ish; sleep, food, water. [1:04:45]
My simple habit list. [1:05:16]
Structure liberates. Make structure in your life to be more creative. [1:07:40]
Why you need to move your body if you want your mind to work. [1:08:08]
The danger of always having your phone on you.. You may never find who you are because you find out who you are in boredom. [1:11:43]
Check out Together Rising, a nonprofit where 100% of donations go directly to the cause, and nimbleness is a priority. No red tape. [1:16:00]
If you’re looking for a guide to being a leader, try being the leader that you wish you had when you were younger. [1:18:30]
Why femininity and masculinity may not belong in the conversation about leadership qualities. Inclusivity is the future of leadership. [1:20:00]
The problem with asking yourself what’s right vs wrong is that they are socially constructed concepts. Try doing what’s true and beautiful to yourself. [1:24:00]

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